They Choose to Become Strangers Again

He had gotten so used to being alone, that he never hoped for an alternative.
Then she came.
She wasn’t someone who he was looking for, so he didn’t care.
Neither did she, he wasn’t someone who she would/could ever consider.
But she needed something, and he gave her that.
He went back to being who he was.
“What harm would come by connecting with him”, she thought.
She came back.
She connected.
He was hesitant, was not sure if he should let her in, then he let her in anyway.
He was still hesitant, she was not, she felt something that she never felt in ages.
She felt comfortable around him that she almost forgot that he is a stranger.
She kept coming back, he grew tired from resisting, so he finally let it happen.
He wouldn’t have let her in, but she kept showing up when he showed the least interest.
All along she said to herself “I’m sure this will not grow beyond it should”, low-key she dreamed of how it would be if she allowed it to grow.
But then she knew he is not the one who could afford her the magical life that she dreamed of from a very young age.
She knew very well that he is not the one who she will be proud to introduce to others and call him as “mine”.
Still she was reluctant to let him go, she kept coming back to him, but not as frequent as she used to come, just frequent enough to make sure he couldn’t take her out of his mind.
She was not ready to look at a future with him yet she couldn’t live the present without him.
All this time, he was confused.
He felt the same way she felt.
He was well aware of the fact that he could not present her with a life she deserves.
He was well aware of the fact that there are many out there who could treat her with all the comforts she deserves.
He was well aware of the fact that he is in no position to truly express what he feels for her.
He knows very well that “I am not someone who she would ever consider in the long run, then why is she still here? Why does she keeps coming back? Why does she makes me feel wanted?” He kept thinking, but that’s all he could do, he was not powerful enough to think it out loud.
Truth be said, she was as confused as he was.
She started realizing that he is slowly becoming a part of her present, but she didn’t want any part of that in her future.
If there’s one thing that she was sure of, it is that she deserved better and he can’t deliver it to her, not for now at least.
She started fearing of what might become of them if she continued this feelings for him.
And he made sure that he won’t trouble her with his feelings because he knew she would ignore that even though she feels the same.
They stopped talking.
They lost the spark.
The souls parted before they could connect.
Time moved.
They became strangers again cause he didn’t express what he really felt.
But then they crossed paths again.
They should have chosen different paths.
But they decided to walk together once again.
This time they both connected to each other.
The connection, the communication, the interest was two sided, it was no longer forced connection as it was once.
They connected more than they did in the past.
But nothing was same again when souls are not present.
Their souls have traveled so far away from each other, that they couldn’t find their way back like they two did.
The spark was no where to be found.
The old innocence was missing, nothings was the same, everything seemed mechanical.
He wasn’t sure if she feels the same way for him now.
It was not like this before, before, her intentions was so clear to him, though he failed to reciprocate the same, he was sure what she wanted. It’s no longer easy for him now.
He wants it to happen but the same time he would give her up without second thoughts if that means she get’s what she deserves.
She was very clear of what she wants, but she didn’t give him that clearance.
He is left clueless, he can’t let it go, the moment he thinks to let everything go she comes back, still no spark, no clarity, he is in this constant circle of uncertainty.
One thing they both were clear of is that they need each other, but to what extent? That they couldn’t make up.
They are going to be together for  years from now but will they ever be together as they were in the past is uncertain.
Will the spark return?
Will the souls reunite?
Will they be something, other than going back to strangers in a day nor in a year?
Nothing can be said, only thing that can be said is they both won’t be making the first move. They both don’t want to reveal their feelings, it could be because they don’t want to loose the other by revealing what they feel nor they don’t have anything to reveal because what they feel is nothing of real value. Maybe it’s just him who shares the feeling, she made clear of hers on her journey alone before coming back.
By ~ Manoj

Also Read: A Love That’s Not Meant To Be: Story