Should You Take Your Husbands Last Name
Most women, after getting married, adopt their husband’s surname. Why, you ask? Well, there is no scientific (or even logical) reason behind it. As we all know, women, from time immemorial, have been made to believe men are superior to them. Times are changing and there are so many people, both men and women, fighting for equality. While women do not want to remain suppressed and want to have a voice of their own, there are many out there who are deprived of their rights. Change is taking place, slowly but surely. It will take a long time before we witness a world where every woman gets the same rights as men do. Although law gives them the right, there are various social barriers that prevent them from enjoying those rights. [ Read: I Wasn’t Treating My Husband Fairly, It Wasn’t Fair ]
Why is a woman asked to adopt her husband’s last name?
After a woman gets married she is asked to assume her husband’s name as a sign of respect towards him and his family. It signifies that she is now a part of another family. Although this practice is not followed throughout the world, it forms a big part of the tradition o many countries. Earlier, a woman is used to be severely criticized if she did not want to change her surname. Things have not changed much but a lot of people have become progressive with the changing times and are okay with their wives opting to use her maiden surname.
Why can’t men change their surname?
Why is it always the woman who is asked to change her surname? Why can’t men adopt their wives’ last names? It just goes on to show that our society is biased towards males and gives them preferential treatment over women. Isn’t marriage supposed to be an alliance between two people who promise to lead their lives together and share equal responsibility for everything? Why, then, is a woman asked to forego her identity and assume her husband’s family name? This practice is just not regressive but horribly wrong. The irony is that people who are in support of this so-called ‘tradition’ say that they do not wish to state that women are inferior to men. Instead, it is just a sign of a woman being a part of her husband’s family. Agreed that she is a part of a new family but that does not alienate her from her old family, right? Would you say the same about the guy? He gets married too. So, does that make him forget his old family? In that case, he should adopt the girl’s last name. [ Read: An Open Letter To My Future Husband ]
Practical issues
Your maiden name has been what is printed on your documents, certificates and other official papers. It is not only time consuming but also painful to go through the entire process of making the changes in all these documents. I mean, do you really think it’s worth it? You would be required to make these changes immediately if you are a working woman. You have to get your name changed on every single document so that your future transactions and dealings should carry your new name. If you fail to change it somewhere, it will create a lot of confusion. A lot of women get to retain their maiden name because they are working professionals. But, even if you are not, it should be completely your choice whether to retain it or not. [ Read: Wife Writes An Open Letter to Her Husband]
Should you change your surname?
You must understand one thing – nobody has the right to tell you whether you should keep your maiden surname or not. The only who can have a say in this is you. There is nothing good or bad about retaining or changing your surname. If you want to adopt your husband’s family name without any force, pressure or obligation, then it is fine. There is no issue as long as you are doing it at your own will. If you do not want to change your name, your husband’s family should respect the decision. They must know that love and respect comes from within and just a change of surname does not signify anything. You love your husband and you have immense respect for his family, but that does not mean you will let go of your identity. You got your surname from your parents who gave birth to you and raised you to become what you are. Wouldn’t changing your surname be showing disrespect to them? Well, you have lived with your surname for so long now and people identify you with it. Changing it just because you have got married does not make much sense. As stated earlier, if you want to change it at your own will, then there is no problem. But, do not do it because of some kind of pressure.
