My Girlfriend Wants to Get Married But I Don’t
You have been in a relationship with your girlfriend for a long time. Most of your friends are married and some have had babies, too! Your girlfriend has started getting a bit anxious and wishes for both of you to tie the nuptial knot. You are not surprised by her suggestion, and you do respect her wish but getting married is not something that is playing on your mind right now. You love her and you want to spend your life with her, but the thought of getting married worries you. Read: My Boyfriend Wants to Get Married But I Don’t
Here are reasons why you do not want to get married:
- Responsibilities
As a boyfriend, you have your share of responsibilities but the responsibilities are going to be a lot more after you get married. Everybody knows this, and people who are willing to shoulder these responsibilities get married. You are not ready for more responsibilities. Not at this point of time, at least. You already feel burdened by the responsibilities you have and are not willing to take up any more. [ Read: 10 Reasons to Get Married and Live Happily Ever After ]
- Financially unstable
You have a job but it does not pay you well enough to take care of an entire family. You want to ensure a better financial standing for yourself before you get married. You have to earn a respectable income for yourself before you think about tying the knot. Even if your girlfriend is working, you need to have a safe and secure job to boast of or else how will her parents approve of this alliance? You need to be financially stable before you ask for her hand in marriage.
- Know each other
You are sure about spending the rest of your life with your partner but you want some more time to know them. Why just you, you want your partner to discover you as well. It is not that you are not sure about marrying them but you want that both of you should get to know each other well before you get married. It will ensure a great deal of comfort between the two of you after getting married and result in a healthy married life. [ Read: If You Can’t Stop Doing These 10 Things, You’re Not Ready To Get Married ]
- Exploring life
Some of your friends are already married. So, saying that both of you are too young to get married would not be appropriate. You might feel that you have few more years before you decide to get married. You must understand that your girlfriend may not feel the same. You should make her see your point by telling her why you want to wait a while. After marriage, you need to handle many responsibilities and you will not get enough time to explore life. Both of you could gain some more experience about life before you get married.
- Relationship trouble
There might be some trouble in your relationship which you both have not resolved as yet. You do not want to take the next step before you find a solution for the problem your relationship seems to be afflicted. Even it is a minor problem you want to work at it first before deciding on marriage. You want to get married only when there are no grudges between the two of you and you are comfortable with the idea of sharing a life together. [ Read: A Letter from A Newly Married Daughter to Her Mother and Father ]
Getting married is a huge step and you must think about it carefully. Do not bow down to pressures and obligations. Take the plunge only when you feel like. A lot of guys make false promises to their girlfriends so that they can avoid the discussion. They tell them that they will marry them soon but do not honour their promises. This affects their relationship adversely. If your girlfriend believes that you are the guy she should get married to, then it implies that she trusts you. You should never break her trust and do something that would make her lose faith in you. You should be upfront about the situation and let her know as to why you do not want to get married. You should be completely honest with her and not hide anything. There are some people who get married out of pressure. Such marriages never work as they are forced upon them. Even if you love your girlfriend, you will never be able to keep her happy or live happily in a forced marriage. If you are sure that you are never going to get married, tell her the same. Ask her if she is okay with it. After that, you should let her decide whether she wants to stay with you or not. Whatever her decision turns out to be, you must accept it. Your girlfriend has her own dreams and her ideas about relationships could be vastly different from yours. She does not need to put her happiness at stake because of your choices. You must respect her decision.
