My Boyfriend Wants to Get Married But I Don’t
In most cases, one assumes that it is the guy who chickens out at the thought of marriage. But a girl can have her share of worries and insecurities, too. Marriage is a big decision; it can make anybody nervous. Even if you love your boyfriend, the thought of getting married to him cold throw you off balance. There is no need to feel guilty about it. Every individual has his concerns and you have your own. Probably, you want to wait for a while before reaching a decision. [ Read: Practical Signs He’s the One You Should Marry ]
Here are probable reasons why you don’t want to get married to your boyfriend:
- He is not serious about his career:
Every girl looks for a partner who would be able to look after her and should be able to pride her with everything she needs. Even if you are independent and earn well for yourself, you do want your future husband to be someone who has carved a successful career for himself. It is a very basic and reasonable expectation, and if you think your boyfriend is not serious about his career then your concerns about getting married to him are valid. [ Read: 9 Ways to Tell if Your Guy Wants to Marry You ]
- He lies to you:
There are times when you have caught him lying to you. Sometimes, the reason behind him lying has been huge and at times, it has not been of major importance. But, the point is that he lies to you and has hurt you innumerable times in the past because it’s a habit. You think he might not mend his ways even after he gets married to you.
- He’s had several affairs:
Everybody has a past and you should not judge them because of that. He has had several affairs in the past; too many to count. This gives the impression that he is a fickle minded person and does not stay committed for a long time. He gets into and comes out of relationships at the drop of a hat. Although he has been with you for some time now, you do not know whether he will always be interested in you. [ Read: 10 Clear Signs Your Man is Worth Marrying ]
- You are not willing to commit:
You have had good experiences being in a relationship with him but the thought of marriage makes you uncomfortable. You are a career-oriented person and there are several other things you have to look after. This keeps you away from making a long-term commitment. Things are going well between the two of you, but you are not sure whether you would be able to be with him for the rest of your life.
- You have other responsibilities:
You have several personal responsibilities and family obligations that need your attention at the moment. Once you get married, you will have to put those things aside and would not be able to concentrate on them anymore. You feel it is important to solve the issues you have in hand at the moment and then think about getting married. It would be unfair to put those responsibilities on hold. [ Read: 13 Relationship Mistakes New Couples Make All the Time! ]
- You are too young:
While your boyfriend insists it is the right time for the both of you get married, you think otherwise. You think you are too young to get married and have a lot of things to explore before you settle down in life. The term ‘young’ is relative. Your friends, relatives and the society may force you to believe that you are old enough to get married but if you feel that you are not ready, do not get in to it.
- You do not trust him:
You have trust issues and cannot bring yourself to trust your boyfriend implicitly. Even if he has not done anything to raise a doubt in your mind, you might have your reasons for not trusting him. Perhaps, talking to him about this could help you clear your mind. Whatever the reason may be, if you have an iota of doubt in your mind you should not opt for marriage right now. You must figure out whether your doubts are valid first. [ Read: MATE, Never Discuss These 8 Things On Your First DATE ]
- Compatibility issues:
It is imperative for two people to be compatible with each other to stay in a happy and successful marriage. A marriage cannot work if both of you disagree on everything and cannot seem to share the same opinion on anything. Being in a relationship made you realize that you both are incompatible with each other and that your bond would not last forever. If you have realized this and are sure that you both are no going to work as a couple, then you should tell the same to your boyfriend. He might not think likewise but you must make him see your point. Both of you may be good human beings but if you are incompatible with each other, then you are not meant for each other.
One needs to be mentally prepared to assume the responsibilities and pressures that come along with marriage. Marriage is a beautiful bond that celebrates the love between two people. But, you need to be mature enough to handle a marriage. Marriage is a blissful experience but it also calls for sacrifices and commitment that you must be ready to make. Girls are often more pressurized than guys to get married. You must not let anyone dictate you and make your choices in life.