13 Clingy Girlfriend Traits You Must Avoid
When you get into a romantic relationship you may get attached too quickly and show your affection and care with great pleasure. It is commendable that you are able to portray your emotions so freely, yet this display of emotions may appear as clingy.
There is thin like in being caring and being clingy. So how do you make out whether you are a needy girlfriend or not? Here are some signs that prove you are a clingy girlfriend and ways you can avoid it.
- You call him constantly
You call him eight to ten times in a day to chat. It may be exciting in the initial weeks, but after awhile guys don’t enjoy talking on the phone for long hours. If you force him to speak to you five times a day despite meeting him in the day, you’ve got a problem.
So just calm down a little and don’t keep pushing him to speak with you. Always leave something to talk upon for the next time and let him have his space.
- You ditch everyone else
Your cousin wants to shop or your childhood friend has planned a reunion, but you blow these plans because your boyfriend has called you to meet him. This is a regular pattern wherein you always cancel plans with your friends and family for him.
Why do you want to live your life on his whims and fancies? Make it a point to follow your plans irrespective of his plans.
- You self-invite yourself
He says he has work to finish and cannot meet you today, so you decide to just show up at his house and help him with his work; or if he’s having some of his guy friends over and has asked you for some time alone with them, you just overlook that and go over to help him with food and drinks.
Note that showing up uninvited is quite irritating and not only your boyfriend, but his friends too will start avoiding you thereafter.
- You don’t like his girl friends
Your boyfriend has a bunch of lady friends and he’s also friends with his exes but you cannot stand this fact! You dislike all his girlfriends and don’t allow him to speak with them, or whenever he speaks to any of them you are game for a fight!
However, you need to keep your insecurities in check and be confident about yourself! You cannot decide who he talks to and does not.
- You spy on him
The second he leaves for the washroom, you jump towards his phone and start searching for something to complain about! It is you habit to go through his phone – check all text messages, photographs, emails?
There is no need to be suspicious because if your boyfriend has something to hide you will sense it. So don’t create unnecessary tension in your relationship.
- Don’t like his “guy time”
When you get to know he’s having a poker night or a guy’s night out, you throw a fit! You feel he’s spending too little time with you and so much more with his friends. Also, when he is away you don’t know what to do in your free time.
Well, that is because you are always hovering around him. Let him take a break from you. Your relationship will grow only when you both grow as people.
- Need to know his passwords
You want to have control of everything and you badger him to share his Facebook password with you just so that you can go through his messages. You need to stop being so annoying; because even if your boyfriend isn’t talking to another girl he may start doing so thanks to your crazy behaviour!
- You always need him
You start behaving like a damsel in distress; a girl who is incapable of doing anything without his help. If you call him for the silliest of matters like filling up a university application or fixing a bulb in your room you are overly dependable on him and need to get things right in life!
- You cry a lot
If he hasn’t looked away for 10 minutes at a party, you will start getting teary eyed just so that he looks at you again and only at you. To get his attention, you are always creating scenes and crying at the drop of the hat!
Quit being a drama queen. Don’t demand for his attention, instead command it; and that will happen only when you stop acting and getting out those crocodile tears.
- Asking questions about his whereabouts
You are always calling to check on him! For instance, you’ll call to ask if he is has reached his haircut appointment; half an hour later you call to check whether he has left and what is his plan thereafter. You want to know his every move! However, you need to realise that you are just behaving over protective and treating him like a child – once you know his plan, there is no need to call him at regular intervals to check on him. All you are doing is pushing him away from you!
- No space
Do you and your boyfriend do everything together? Are you with each other 24×7? From cooking to doing the laundry, watching movies and shopping, running and yoga, attending parties and hanging out with friends – like you are each other’s shadow! If this continues you relationship is going to die out very soon.
Know that you both need some time away from each other and it is perfectly healthy to be out alone with your friends.
- You complain that he doesn’t love you
Are you someone who is constantly looking for assurance of his love? You ask him daily whether he loves you; and you whine out words like, “you don’t love me!” or “your love has reduced!” or “you don’t care for me! You just don’t love me enough!”
However, you have to be a sensible adult who should secure in her relationship! His love is not going to increase if you keep behaving needy! So try and see how much he loves you, rather than complaining about how little he does.
- You plan everything together
It is like you have no life of you own, no friends of your own, no wants of your own and basically no life of your own! If you want to take a baking class, you go with him instead of your sister; or if you want to go shopping you don’t call your girl friend, but take him along and when you have to plan dinner with a group, you just go along with his friends, forgetting about yours!
It is amazing that you enjoy his company so much, yet never forget that you have friends and family too and that you have wishes apart from your boyfriend, so once a week try and go out with your people.
Giving space in any relationship is very essential because only then will your relationship grow. Be concerned and caring, but don’t turn into an obsessive nut! No doubt, your boyfriend loves you, so respect that love and allow it to increase as the days pass by being not only his girlfriend but also his best friend.