6 Things to Know Before Moving on to a New Relationship
So you have frittered enough getting over your ex – your consumption of tissue boxes runs in double figures, your Whatsapp messages are all about how much you miss being in a relationship or cribbing about the person who ruthlessly broke your heart. No matter how much you want to hold on to the fiber of your relationship that is now past tense, you know in your heart that the ship has sailed! It will do no one any good if you keep stalking their Facebook page, Instagram, Twitter…just let it go. Breathe! That felt good right? [ read: 12 Secret Rules of a Happy #Relationship. SHH! ]
We all have had our heart broken at some point of life, and we all find solace in the fact that for every broken piece, there is always a next time, a better person. However, take this piece of advice. Do not rush into a relationship. Rebound relations seldom work out, and will end up breaking you even more. So every time you feel like going out and asking out the next hot dude/ dudette you feast your eyes on, ask yourself – definitely want to date, but SHOULD I date? That makes a big difference. Now that you have come to your senses, here are a few pointers, some tell-tale signs for you to consider before you jump on the dating bandwagon.
- Make peace with the past:
Yes, you had your heart ripped to pieces. Then the ex-walked over those very pieces. Slowly. Excruciatingly slowly. Yes, it hurt. It felt like the end of the world. But you survived. And that’s what matters. You were damaged, but you made it through. So do the next sensible thing – make peace with your past. Come to terms with it. Accept that it happened, and you lived to tell the tale. [ Read: 10 Ways to Jumpstart Your #Relationship TODAY ]
- Stop looking for ‘signs’:
It is but human to see glimpses of your ex in every other person you meet. The way someone twitches their eyebrow, the way a person says the darkness things to even passing through a perfume shop and regaling in the familiar scent! Chances are, you would begin to see them as signs that you two belonged together, after all you are so tuned into that person! This is your mind playing games with you; and the bad news is that you’ll end up only losing.
- Trust your instincts:
Not every person is a heart breaker, some are healers too. Post a break-up, the nerves are frazzled and you are on high-alert. You need to understand that not everyone is out there to exploit your vulnerability. Know that it’s okay to trust your instincts at times I your gut says that a person is being genuinely concerned or friendly, then take up the opportunity to explore the friendship. [ Read: 7 Ways to Express Yourself and Keep a Healthy #Relationship ]
- Know your choices:
A bad relationship is not all that bad. It teaches you valuable lessons like, what kind of people to avoid. Steer clear of people who are uncannily like your ex, why have your heart broken over twice? Meeting people and talking to them is not only enlightening, but will also leave you enriched. Reach out to people who share your hobbies, your taste in music, who like the same movies as you Or go, find someone who is totally the opposite, whose personality takes you by surprise. The world is a mix-bag and make sure you know your choices. Who knows, you might find your soul mate at the library!
- You weren’t the reason:
Even if it was you who fell out of love, do not blame yourself for the end of the relationship. You did not plan falling into love, right? Then how can you be responsible for falling out of love? People change, and so do their emotions. Falling in love over and over again with the same person, that’s what love stories are made of. If you suddenly realized that the relationship wasn’t going anywhere, maybe the vibes from your partner were also not very friendly. Whatever it was, bury the past and smile at the future. [ Read: 5 Reasons Why One Sided Love Borders Self Destruction ]
- Let it go:
All that you felt/ feel for your ex, let it go. Whether it is the happy thoughts warming your heart or negative ones driving you crazy let it go. That cute sweatshirt that he/she gifted to you, let it go. Make space in your wardrobe, and in your heart for peace, and for the new love yet to be explored. Moving on is not just about forgiving the person, or in some cases, forgiving yourself. It is about coming to terms with the fact that life goes on, and we have to grow up along with it.
Heartbreaks are painful. They are bad, yet they are an integral part of our life experiences. Love will never be able to teach you as many lessons as a single heartbreak can! So go with the flow, and enjoy the ride. Look at the positives, the good it brings. Being single, even for a while can be refreshing. Welcome it with open arm, and when the time is just about right, you will bump into the person of your dreams. Just like that!