5 Reasons Why One Sided Love Borders on Self Destruction

5 Reasons Why One Sided Love Borders on Self Destruction

It would not be an exaggeration to say that love is best known and felt by people who have had one sided feelings for somebody. A person who loves selflessly knows its true meaning and also its pain to the core. Loving someone selflessly is indeed an act of courage and immense love but often it can be self-destructive and result in loss for the person concerned. [ Read: Top 10: Reasons to Break it up with HER. ]

5 Reasons Why One Sided Love Borders on Self Destruction

There is no control over love. In fact, it is a human tendency to get majorly attracted to the person who doesn’t show much interest in you. Often, it is known as ‘wanting what you can’t have’. People behave like children when in love. Just like a child will cry the loudest for the toy he is denied, adults tend to pursue a partner whom they cannot possibly get.

But is it good, to be in a one sided relationship forever? Is it healthy? Is it good for your career or education? Is it good for your well being? Is it worth the trouble? Is it bearable for the people you are around?

The answer to all the above questions is a big NO. Being in a one sided relationship, is like being in love with some celebrity, who you can love, admire, care for and admire from a distance but can never expect them to be there for you or be your life partner.

1. Too many inbuilt feelings lead to obsession.

Just like a one way road is always more jammed, one way feelings can cause a lot of piled up aggression.  A lot of piled up feelings will be added on every day, since you don’t have an outlet to the person. And it doesn’t take time for this inbuilt aggression to turn into an obsession for your love and more so, when the person is with somebody else or has absolutely zero interest in you.  This obsession can be severely harmful for you, as it can lead to serious consequences. People have known to do crazy things just because of their obsession with things or other people.

2. Loss of focus.

When you are constantly thinking about that one person, there will be nothing which will seem as important as crying over your inability to possess them. It can lead to severe failures in  one’s career and education. You might even cost yourself a good job. Losing focus can be quite frustrating in itself. Remember what your dreams were before you met this person and what your goals in life are.

3. Addiction to the pain.

A person who has feelings for someone who doesn’t love them back usually has a lot of pain in his heart. Some people love the pain they get by their ‘love’. They dig up more and more things to get more pain and dwell in it. They can be sadists. Checking on the photos of your ex every now and then on facebook and then getting upset over it for hours or days, is a classic example of sadism. This tendency needs to be corrected.

4. Loss of social life.

Part of obsession and addiction is that you lose track of your social life. You might stop meeting your friends, going out at parties or even for a movie. With your friend-circle diminishing, the locus of your life will completely shift to your love interest, which can be quite traumatic even when in a mutual relationship. Being the only person in a self made relationship can be thought of as extremely sad and unfortunate by own self and also others. It is taxing to be only in that person’s thoughts and keeping a track of their life and activities.

5. Causes of worry.

If you don’t care much about your own self and just love to love that person, you must at least think of your friends and family. It can be quite traumatic for a parent to see their child suffering every single day. Your friends who accept you the way you are would be concerned about you. Your boss or supervisor might worry about your productivity at work. Your teachers or guides could be concerned about you. Just imagine how many people you are ending up hurting for someone who doesn’t even care enough for you. [ Read here: 7 reasons why you can’t get him off your mind ]

All these factors can lead you to destroy your own being and personality. It is good to have feelings for someone. But it is equally important to tell them about it. And the most important is, to move past them, if they are not on the same page as you are. As they say, moving on is essential and life doesn’t stop for anyone. Instead of making ‘that someone’ a celebrity in your life, it is important to realize that the one who cares enough for you and makes you feel worthy, is more than any celebrity or even a superstar!