5 Points to Keep in Mind When Dating a Divorcee
Dating a divorcee is not as simple and straightforward as dating single people. It can require a maturity and understanding about their relationship and condition. There are some divorcees who are forced or set up by their relatives to start dating again. They might not be over their break up as yet. Some divorced people have kids, and that is a whole different ball game altogether. So it is very important to be patient and clear when dating a divorcee. The expectations level need to be slightly lower for them than dating single people. [ Read: Marriage versus Money ]
There are a few points to keep in mind while dating a person who has undergone a divorce. Let’s see a few of them.
- Knowing the status of their divorce.
It is important to know where they stand in the process of the divorce. He or she might just be separated without any legal angle attached. They might have just initiated the process of divorce, they are in talks with their lawyers, they might have been divorced recently or they might have had divorced for over a year. A recently separated person has the chances of getting back with their estranged wife or husband. Hence, it is important that you know that he or she is serious about their divorce and not just upset with their partners. [ Read: 6 Reasons why marriage is so important to women ]
- Be calm and patient
Always remember that this person has gone through a hard time when it comes to relationships. He or she might not be very optimistic or trusting at first. But the fact that they are dating you shows that they are open to trying again. Don’t force things on them too soon. Or suggest things like marriage, engagement or even moving in before a year of dating them.
- Accept their past
They might have an ex-husband or ex-wife, and you have to accept their presence in your date’s life. People have to keep in touch post their divorce, for settlement issues, for a division of their stuff, insurance policies, for children or for mutual friends and relatives. It is impossible to completely ignore the presence of their ex-partner. They will turn up every now and then, and more accepting you become, the easier it will be on you. They might even have children. And any divorced person, would still like to be in touch with their children and be a part of their lives. So it is important that you get to know the children and be friendly to them. [ Read: 5 Reasons why hardships make love stronger ]
- Lower your expectations
You need to lower your expectations when it comes to dating a divorcee. Everything will happen with them too if stuff goes well. But they will take a lot more time to get into something serious this time. They might be more cautious and sceptical. Hence, it is only fair to not expect miracles and fast paced relationship with them, Give them time to recover, trust, keep their faith and then go ahead with all surety.
- Get to know what’s in their mind
Some men or women, who have gone through a divorced, don’t ever want to get hitched again. So they might be dating just for fun or for a life in a relationship. You might not think the same. Hence, it is better to get to know what are their thoughts or limitations with regards to a romantic relationship. Some divorced people might like to get married but never have kids, because they already have two of them. While you might be dreaming of having kids all your life. It means you will have to either compromise your dreams or you will have to let that person go. It is always better to get a fair idea of their thoughts and restrictions.
Have you ever dated a divorcee? Share your experiences with us in the comments section.