12 Real Warning Signs Why Couples Drift Apart Over Time?
Let’s face it, as many couples as we see around us basking in the awesomeness of love and being loved, we have an equal number of people with sordid tales to tell – the ones who have horror stories to narrate about how they once found love and how it turned out to be a nightmare. It is sad, but true, that over time couples drift apart and choose to let go. Not all couples head towards splitsville, but it isn’t uncommon.
Here are a few reasons why couples drift apart over time.
- Bliss turns to boredom
The very notion of love is very romantic. Those flutters of eyelashes, getting goose bumps, flushing of cheeks, the excitement of dating, dressing to impress, wearing expensive cologne, going the extra mile…all of this is what makes love so amazing. However, after you are done basking in love’s reflected glory, there’s nothing really left to excite you. Bliss soon turns to boredom. [ Read: Living Together Happily – 10 Cohabitation Tips For #Couples
- Lack of communication
Everybody from a layman to a renowned psychologist would agree that communication forms the very backbone of any relationship. Have any thoughts? Speak out. Have something to complain about? Do so, but just talk it out. Communication is the best way to stay connected and resolve issues. However, over time, we start communicating less and less, thinking that the other person, having known us for years, knows exactly what we want to say. But that shouldn’t be the case.
- Ego clashes
She loves me…how could she not answer my call? He knows me so well, why is he questioning my shopping splurge? Over time, when we become very comfortable and sure of each other, the old enemy – ego, starts making his comeback. You two are together for good, there’s no need to impress each other anymore; this is when ego rears its ugly head. You start questioning the person’s intention and motives. This slowly poisons the relationship. [ Read: Very Nice Rules Of Love For #Couples ]
- Different life goals
What you want from life may not be similar to what your partner wants from life. But that’s completely okay – you are partners, not clones. However, problem starts when your very different life goals start interfering with each other. Your wife wants a stable life – where kids grow up in the same house, you form long-term friendship with the neighbors. You on the other hand are a vagabond soul, you love travelling! That’s where the trouble starts brewing.
- Taking for granted
The good old ‘taking for granted’ always comes into play. Knowing a person well, knowing their habits, choices, preferences and the person inside-out does not mean that you stop paying attention to them! Taking for granted means when you stop your efforts to make your partner feel special. When you stop taking an odd bouquet or taking her out to a surprise romantic dinner – don’t do that. Always make efforts to make your partner feel special. [ Read: Double Date with other #couples – Pros and Cons ]
- Emotional buildup
‘I cannot tell him that I am not happy’ ‘How do I tell her what I really feel’? When you stop communicating and expressing your feelings, the suppressed emotions keep on building up inside ad one ay it just bursts. That’s what happens with many couples over time. Emotional buildup is deadly, not just for the relationship, but for you as a person too.
- Emotional stress
When you are not taking your spouse, girlfriend or boyfriend for granted, things can still turn a bit sour. Love is all about making the other person feel special, wanted and loved. You are constantly thinking of ways to please the other person – gifts, love notes, flowers, planning romantic escapades. All this can take a toll on your well-being and emotional health. Many people turn back thinking of all the stress involved. [ Read: An Emotional Love Letter ]
- Trying to keep up
Being a couple takes effort. A lot of effort. Keeping up with the ‘couple’ label can be quiet daunting for sure. It becomes all the more difficult when you have other couple friends who are aces at being couples. It is possible that you may end up feeling incompetent and at a loss!
- Lack of time
Life is fast, and it’s demanding enough to keep up with your own routine. Throw in one more person, one who depends on you for their source of happiness – and suddenly you might end up feeling overwhelmed. Relationship requires time, and when you can’t do that, the relationship is doomed. [ Read: Read Why We Should Not Force Love And Give It Time]
- No common interest
Just like separate life goals, even different interests can affect the relationship at times. It’s fun when two people share similar interests, but when all their interests are different – not so much. Over time, couples develop similar interests. Those who don’t have a tough time maintaining the relationship.
- Lack of novelty
After the honeymoon period is over, there is no real novelty left in a relationship. Once you get used to the other person, start knowing their habits and traits, how they would react in a situation etc. the novelty starts fading away and boredom starts setting in. [ Read: 7 Unique Ways to Make Your Boyfriend Feel Special ]
- Feeling anchored
While a routine is what most people want, many people are wandering souls by nature. Feeling tied to one place or one person is not what their idea of relationship is. Over time, when one starts feeling anchored, they might start having second thoughts.
Take these points as a lesson and make sure that you stay strong. Year, after year, after year.