11 Questions you Need to ask Yourself after a Break Up
Nothing is permanent in life, not even relationships. No matter how many efforts you have put in it to make it work and many promises you and your partner made to each other about living together forever, many times, they come to an end once you break up. Ending a relationship is what you call a break-up. Every break up comes with whole bunch of different feelings. Even if it the best thing you could have done and the best decision you could have made you will still feel sad about it and you will feel as if you are missing something.
But, whenever you have downtime, your mind starts driving you crazy, mulling all the unanswered questions, and you wind up feeling worse. One good way to deal with these feelings is to examine yourself and your relationship. You can do this by asking yourself a few questions. So listed down are some questions you need to ask yourself after your break up –
- Why was that person in my life?
Asking yourself this one question will ease your mind from the sadness of having a break up. You break up with your partner because there was something about him/her that you disliked; because of which you could not carry on the relationship further. The qualities which you disliked about your partner comes to your mind when you ask yourself this question, and on the other hand you try to correct yourself if a part of that quality was within you too.
- What was missing from your relationship?
Usually a perfect relationship does not come to end, it stays forever. But nothing and no one is perfect. There must be some flaws, something wrong in your relation because of which you and your partner broke up. This could be one of the main reasons for your break up. This question can also help you in your next big relationship.
- Was the relationship as good as I really thought?
No matter how worse your relationship had become before your break up, but after it, you always think of only the good things. Irrespective of how my arguments you both had, how many time you fought in a day, whatever the case may be, it is very important to think of the good memories or you might lose your mind. Whenever you feel broken and wish to talk to your ex, simply ask yourself it your relationship was actually as good as you thought.
- Who was the leader in the relationship?
You might think that in today’s culture this does not make a difference. You need to ask yourself who was the one who constantly wished to play the lead role in the relationship and not considering the viewpoints of the other? The dignity of both is equally important.
- What did I learn from this relationship?
While you are in a relationship, you get to learn many things, like what are the expectations of your partner from you, how to make him/her feel special. All these things help you in being a better partner, a better person for your future relationships.
- Is it possible that your expectations were too high?
There might be a possibility of you being wrong. Having too many expectations from your partner is not correct. Before expecting anything, ask yourself – were you living up to their expectations completely? You need to set a limit because these are the things that make your relationship weak.
- How do you move on?
Moving on is not easy if you loved your ex truly. There are different ways of moving on. You can get busy with work to divert your mind, or start dating someone else. Every individual has a different mind-set and different ways to define the word “move on”.
- Was there anything in life that I had put on hold?
Sometimes you are so busy while you are in a relationship that you forget to live your personal life the way you wanted. You might have missed out on a hobby, or may be some course that you always wanted to pursue. This is the right time after your break up to take on your hobby and indulge yourself into it.
- Where did your relationship go wrong?
To enjoy a better relationship in your future, you need to find out the reason that led to your break up. By answering this question to yourself, you will know on what issues you had broken up with your ex and how they can be corrected in case you want to get back to them.
- Is it really worth the trouble?
You need to be clear in your mind if your relationship was for real or not. Answering this question to yourself will either put you in hoping to get your partner back or are you just unnecessarily wasting your time and energy by even thinking about your relationship that has now ended.
- After this heart-breaking relationship, will it be easy to get into a new relationship?
Everyone realizes that breakups are tough, but it does not mean than you shut down the doors of your heart and never let anyone else get it with the fear of having another heartbreak. Be open to options, you might find someone even better than your ex. But always keep in mind that you do not think of playing with someone’s feeling.
It is very important to keep your mind off sadness after you have had a break up. You can do this by keeping yourself as busy as possible, especially in the beginning till the time you don’t get over it. By asking yourself the above given questions you may feel a bit better because you will get a clear picture and a clear reason as to why you both broke up.