10 Signs that You are Just his Backup Lover

10 Signs that You are Just his Backup Lover

We make backup plans or keep some backup options ready so that we have something to fall back on after our original plan fails. What we envision may not always work out for us. In such situations, having a backup plan can turn out to be very helpful. Have you ever thought what it would feel to be somebody’s backup plan? Of course, we are always ready to help out our friends and loved ones and will be there for them whenever they need us. But, we do not want to be used by people. When you are in a relationship, it is very important to make sure that your partner is not using you. [ Read: This Beautiful Marriage Proposal will Leave You Envy ]

10 Signs that You are Just his Backup Lover


Here are 10 back burner babe signs that you are just his backup lover:

  1. Never says it directly

He never utters the three words that you have wanted to hear for so long now. Both of you know that you are dating each other but he never really tells you that he loves you. He shows that he cares for you and is concerned about your well-being. But, he has told you directly that you are dating each other. [ Read: Proof That Long Distance Relationships Last Forever! This Will Make You Cry


  1. Does not mention it to his friends

You meet his friends often but he introduces you to them as his friend. He asks you to play along and when you ask for a reason, he gives absurd reasons which do not make sense. If he is dating you, what is the harm in informing the same to his friends? One could understand his reservations about talking about it to his family but there is no reason why he should hide it from his friends.

  1. Social media

People love to flaunt their relationship status on social networking websites. If you were single till recently and are now seeing someone, you waste no time to declare the same on these websites. You want the whole world to know that you are dating someone. Very soon, you see your timeline flooded with congratulatory messages. If he still projects him as a  single man on social media, then he is not serious about  you. [ Read: Boy Writes an Emotional Letter for his Girlfriend to SAVE their 6 Years Old Relationship ]

  1. Hasty dates

He calls you up and asks you to get ready for a date in five minutes.  You wonder why he did not inform you about the date earlier. He seems to be in haste and your inclusion in the plan is a last minute thing. He might have planned the date with somebody else but when the girl does not turn up for the occasion, he decided to take you out with him.

  1. Talks about his ex

Although he has had a breakup and claims to forget his ex-girlfriend, he still talks about her frequently. That means he still has not got over her. Maybe he does not realize this himself but a part of him is still in love with that girl. He is dating you but is not that into you. Maybe he got into a relationship with you thinking that it would help him get over his past relationship. [ Read: 9 Firm Steps to Get Over an Ex Girlfriend in No Time! ]

  1. He drives things

A relationship should be driven by individuals. You should make plans together and mutually agree upon decisions. If he insists on taking all the decisions on his own and does not let you share your opinion, he wants to be the sole driver of the relationship. It implies that he is not interested in hearing as to what you want to say.

  1. He needs company

He is someone who always looks for company.  The thought of being alone scares him. You cannot always call your friends and ask them to spend tie with you. If you have a partner, you can be dependent on them and ask them to be with you whenever you want them to. So, even though he does not love you, he got into a relationship with you so that he could have someone to spend time with. [ Read: How to Be Funny and Make People Love Your Company ]

  1. Contemplating

He is still contemplating about the way he wants the relationship to shape up. You are serious about him and want to make this relationship work but there is some sort of confusion going on in his mind. You have made certain plans for the future but he is not sure as to how long does he want to be in the relationship.

  1. Seeks privacy

After you get into a relationship with someone, that person becomes an integral part of your life.  You do not hide things from them and keep them informed about everything that is going on in your life. When a person is in a relationship but is overly concerned about his privacy, you do feel offended. Being his partner you have all the right to know everything about him. The fact that he hides things from you hurts you. [ Read: How to Get a Guy to Notice You and Fall for You ]

  1. No Commitment

He is in a relationship with you but does not seem committed to you. When you discuss with him he changes the topic. You feel that he takes things very lightly and is not as serious about the relationship as you are. He does not say or suggest something that would indicate that he is committed towards the relationship.

None of us wish to be a backup option for anybody. When we are madly in love with someone, that person tends to take advantage of our affection for them and uses us. Make sure that there is no other girl in the guy’s life. You have to be careful enough not to be swayed by emotions and think carefully before getting into a relationship.