I Have Never Been In Love Inspite Of Being In A Relationship
You know Love is a surprise. It can make you, heal you, smash you at the same time. And relationships are like junk foods. Not applicable for all. I mean, you have to work out to enjoy junk foods. Cause too much of junk can cost you a heavy deal. In a relationship, there is always that one person who breaks and who makes. The one who breaks never realises the pain it takes to make it again. You know I feel that heartbreaks should have a sound and should be visible like bruises, blood clots, or even sharp cuts. Then only people will understand the pain.
He gave up on me finally
Being a hopelessly romantic lover I have always admired the fact that I am in a relationship. For the first two years, I enjoyed every moment of it. We walked hand in hand, spent moments together, life behaved perfectly like a framed picture with smiles and happiness. My parents were not sure about this but, I never gave up. I tried best to convince them and they tried best to convince me that they were right! I never gave up but see the game of destiny, he gave up on me.
I blamed myself for your mistakes
Love never happens it just takes their place. Sometimes, you realise it late and sometimes early. But Love can never be denied. Inspite of being in a relationship for 5 long years, I never felt what true love is. I have always craved for it. Whenever I felt like he was the one, his activities made me understand that he was not the one. I said sorry for no reasons and it hurts. It hurts and stings me every moment. I gave my 5 years to you, I sacrificed my job for you, I fought with my family and my self-respect. Whenever you committed a mistake I blamed myself. But you never said SORRY. You never confessed your mistakes.
How should I react
Can you tell me how should I console myself? No, you cannot. You can only say one thing, “I am not the one for you,” and fool the world that you loved me truly. I tried to forget the scars you gave but I couldn’t. Why? Because before I could forget those you surprised me with other sets of scars. And like this, there were scars from 5 years which kept on piling up. I can now breath in peace and spend the rest of my life without any problem. Yeah, I will miss you, memories, and all those but I am happy that my life got rid of such a great master of fake-ism.
I freeze even now
Yes, I get goosebumps even now when people ask me about you. I feel how shall I confess it. But at the end of the day, I had to deal with this shit. I feel you even now when the night crawls in and the cool breeze hits my face, I feel your warmth. But then when the rain comes along with the thunder, I wake up from my dream. It makes me realise that that warmth and moments were never true and love. Only need and need! I don’t care what you will tell people about me or rather how you will manipulate them against me. I feel pity for you and your current interest, cause you are a big time spineless man.
And a man without his spine is completely useless. I mean even potty is better than you, atleast they act as manures. So, go and have your cake. Thank god you left and my life. I mean I can’t handle a man who is not a man!
With love and kindness- The one who once loved you truly.