Ways To Confront A Fear Of Commitment
One of the frequently asked question, how can one overcome the fear of commitment! Before proceeding, I would like to add that it is absolutely normal fearing commitment. I remember one of my friends once came to me crying like a baby. For a moment so many reasons started floating inside my mind. But then she spoke and finally I could give it a proper shape. So, this friend of mine finally found that one person with whom she was ready to spend the rest of her life. She was in love and at the same time, she was scared about the same fact. She had so many questions – “How will I cope up with his expectations? Will I be able to marry him?”. And many such questions were asked by her.
Read: 5 Important Ability of Commitment In Love One Can’t Miss
But then she spoke and finally I could give it a proper shape. So, this friend of mine finally found that one person with whom she was ready to spend the rest of her life. She was in love and at the same time, she was scared about the same fact. She had so many questions – “How will I cope up with his expectations? Will I be able to marry him?”. And many such questions were asked by her. This is how I had helped her.
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Just RELAX
The best way to overcome the fear of commitment is to relax. Both you and your partners are looking for a long term relationship and the nervousness or fear is really natural. Don’t stress yourself too much. Allow yourself to relax and breath the fresh air. It is true that the definition of commitment is different for different pairs, but to your partner and yourself, both of you are looking for a lifelong journey. So, the fear is understandable. With commitment comes different other perspectives also. When a person falls in love with someone, there are many other thoughts, which pop in. Especially if one of the partners or both have a past history of painful breakup or loss, many negative speculations arise. So, in that case just relax and go slow. Take the time and just breath.
2. Commitment is scary
Give it a think. In our life, we have come across so many people, with some we have had a month relationship and with some, it was just a two days flings. Did we ever feel the same with them while breaking up?? No. Cause there were no expectations. Losing them was neither a big deal for us neither for them. But, when it comes to commitment, things are different. There are many points, many emotional and practical threads attached. One wrong turn and the entire relationship can take a massive u-turn. When we deeply fall for someone, we feel from our heart, we feel for a meaning, our souls are connected, we become one emotionally. So, the fear is common.
Read: Why Is Commitment Really Scary ?
3. Make yourself aware that you are commitmentphobic
Get to know your fear, make yourself aware of it and then deal with it further. Don’t shy away or ignore this. If possible consult a specialist. Speak with them about your fears and see what they have to say. During this type of problems, it is always advised to consult a specialist and seek their help. There can be various reasons for it like a broken heart, ignorance, and many such incidents. Tell them everything in details. Unless and until you help yourself, nobody will be able to help yourself.
So, these were few of the tips to confront the fear of commitment. Love is a lifetime, and the fear is natural. But to pet, those fears and later on using it as a medium to harm the relationship is not a good option. Talk to your partner about your fear and tell them you need time. Your partner will understand you.
