Cause Your Eyes Gives Me False Hope
#Hope, not for me. I never had this feeling of hope when I was with you. And thus I gave up! Hope was never a chance in our relationship and thus I gave up. Whenever I looked at you, your eyes showed false hopes. And thus I gave up. #Hope is an optimistic feeling, but in our relationship, there was nothing optimistic. Everything was a delusion
Hey bunny, how are you?? Hope you are absolutely fine and in good health. I am not surprised to see you happy and enjoying your every breath. Infact I am hurt to see you behave so normally.
Many of my close pals urged me to go and confront you. Speak my heart out before stepping to a new journey. So one day I decided to face you. I held my breath, closed my eyes, and for a moment a flashback of memories rolled out.
Everything in black and white. I saw our first meet, our first gossip, our first bike ride, our first hug, our first kiss, our first meal, our first fight. But then all of a sudden I saw YOU. I saw your face, your smiling face. The face which took away all my depression, all my tiredness. I felt your hug, your touch, the feelings for which I craved every moment.
I opened my eyes and gulped down the saliva. For a moment I couldn’t put my step forward. I was standing under your flat. The gates which one day seemed familiar to me, on that particular day it felt like shackles. The sound of the garage nearby which during the past reminded me of how you used to sit down to mend your bike, seemed like a cacophony to me.
The noise of the cars, the smell of the soil, made me feel rustic. I had made my heart to still go up and ring the doorbell but, then I saw a tall dark figure climbing down the stairs. I could understand by the hawk that it was YOU. For a moment I felt like the entire world had paused. I looked into your eyes and I thought- Was it for this that you had been nurturing me every day?? Why every day whenever I tried to find myself in your eyes I couldn’t see myself??
I was woken up by the sudden vibration of my smartphone which was tucked into my jeans. I quickly picked it up and went aside. Waiting for you to leave I hastily took long steps to walk away from you. And even on that day, I purposely, kept my hand back, in case you just hold it and hug me tight.
So you see pals, I tried confronting him and telling him how much I had sacrificed for him. But I couldn’t. Cause looking into his eyes I could only notice lies and lies. I could only notice a journey where the man I had loved, never had the patience to own up his mistakes.
Word of advice- It is not about “strength or how strong you are”. Sometimes, feeling inspite of failing is good. Weakness forces people to realise their strength!
The girl with specs