Affairs in a Marriage and the Big Role of Egos in it
Coming to know about an affair outside marriage can be shocking, heart-breaking and shattering. First of all affair in a marriage should not happen at all. Even if it does, it can leave you blank and depressed. There can be many reasons of on partner having an outside affair. Usually it is the man who gets involved in such an act. Sometimes a person does not have an affair intentionally, it just happens with them even realizing it. [ Read: 10 Signs to Know if You’re Dating a Girl Worth Keeping ]
Affairs can happen because some or the other need of that person is not fulfilled by their spouse and to fulfil that need, they go out and get into an affair. Having an affair outside marriage does not necessary mean that they do not love their spouse, it just that they were taking s short break from them so that after it when they go back to their spouse with their whole heart, they love their spouse even more than before. But the one who is innocent goes through many emotions at once like being angry, upset and disrespected. Anger conquers their mind so much that they end up doing something to themselves like thinking of committing suicide or killing the partner who cheated. The innocent person is not even sometimes ready to listen to what the cheating partner has to say. [ Read: 15 Types of Relationships to Define Your Love Life ]
Once you come to know that you have been cheated it becomes hard for you to trust your partner or love them again in the same way you used to.
What are the factors that can lead a partner to make an affair outside marriage:
- No excitement left in the marriage
You partner may be looking for something exciting in life and having an extra affair may seem to be a good option. [ Read: Difference Between Love and Marriage Explained [ In A Short Story ] ]
- Being Neglected by spouse
Sometimes, your spouse gets so busy with work, kids and other important things in life that he/she doesn’t have time for you.
- No quality time with each other
In any relationship, it is important to spend quality time. It does not happen, you spouse may feel depressed and lead him towards a new partner outside marriage. [ Read: 13 Relationship Mistakes New Couples Make All the Time! ]
- Desire for a change of partner
Few people think that they are a little bored with their spouse so talking and sometimes meeting another person can bring some change in their life.
- A new time pass
Some people consider outside affair as a way to pass their time. They face boredom with their marriage and take up having outside affair as a temporary time pass. [ Read: 12 Real Warning Signs Why Couples Drift Apart Over Time? ]
- Physical desires except from spouse
Usually men in this case, get bored with their wife and they look out for women who are better looking than their spouse. This is where the real cheating comes in.
- Feeling of loneliness
Your partner may be physically present with you but sometimes you still feel lonely in life. You want to share your loneliness with someone who feels the same and you end up being with another person except your spouse.
- Not getting enough attention and love
Partners seek attention from their lovers in a relationship. If these factors fly away with time, even love starts to fade. And in search of love, people end up having an extra marital affair. [ Read: Ladies, Let’s Spend Some Time Alone? ]
What role does ego play in such a situation –
A good and successful marriage is the one where both the partners forget about their ego make some comprise for making the other partner happy. But ego in such a situation can come from both the partners. The partner who is cheating can show ego by neither accepting their fault nor by asking for forgiveness. Such people are bad partners. Whereas the partner who is innocent will show their ego because they want to know why did their partner ever cheat on them and how could they cheat on them. [ Read: Relationship – There are times in LIFE when ONE has to WALK AWAY ]
If you are the innocent one you will try to keep yourself in the place of your partner. Ego drives you to being more and more negative. But may want to hug your partner and cry out loud for him cheating on you but your ego won’t let that happen. In fact ego is one thing that will make you want to take revenge and hurt your partner back.
We have very well defined above the reasons why your partner cheated on you, but have you thought that somewhere you are also responsible for your partner cheating on you. May be there are some loopholes that you left that your partner had to go for an outside affair. It can be your fault too. May be you did not give enough love, support, time and attention to your partner. [ Read: A Guy with a Girlfriend Likes You… Now What?! ]
Before you come to a conclusion, it is important for you to keep aside you ego, sit with your partner and discuss why this ever happened between you both. Listen to what your partner has to say by getting into their shoes and then think from their perspective. If you are still not over with the fact that you have been cheated, or if you have caught your partner red handed and he/she is still not ready to accept their fault, then you can think of taking an action such as divorce. But remember, life will not be easy even after a divorce. Try to sort things out and I sure your relationship will be even stronger than before.