Abandonment Issues and How it Affects Your Relationship
First we will discuss the meaning on abandonment. Abandonment means losing someone you were deeply in love with because of problem in the relationship or even death. Abandonment basically means you have been left out or left by someone. Abandonment issues can come back from ones childhood. Abandonment can also happen when someone you love has died. May be someone they love left them alone because they passed away. Abandonment can also be in one’s adulthood. And abandonment can come in a relationship when one partner is caught cheating on the other and latter leaves him/her (as in a break up or divorce). Abandonment is basically a feeling of losing someone or losing connection with someone. The person is left behind because someone has abandoned them. He/she may face difficulty in accepting the fact that they have been abandoned. The feeling of being abandoned is so stressful that sometimes people go into depression, mental illness, shock or even trauma. [ Read: 15 Types of Relationships to Define Your Love Life ]
There are many people who face abandonment issues. Everyone responds to it in a different way. People who have the fear of being abandoned seem different, scared and they are not able to make good term and long lasting relationships. This fear haunts them so much that they will not easily trust anyone, will not easily love someone hence making their life full of worries and problems. [ Read: 10 Conversation No-No’s in a New Relationship ]
Here are a few signs describing how abandonment issues affect one’s relationship
- They always fear rejection
Because they fear rejection they do not open up with anyone. They do not make enough good friends with whom they can share their problems and ask solutions to it. People consider you as being introvert and shy whereas there are thousand things running in their mind, but do not speak up. [ Read: 10 Ways to Read Mixed Signals and Turn the Signs into Love ]
- They do not commit easily
They think that their relationship with someone they love might end because their partner can cheat on them, or might lie to them. Such people prefer staying away from love for years. And even if they have someone in their life, they will keep looking at the negative things about their partner rather than seeing their positive side and end up breaking up with them.
- They keep breaking up and getting into new relationships
People who fear abandonment are not able to stay for long in any relationship. Initially they chase for one person and once they have them, they get bored easily. Then they find their faults and break up with them. But because they fear loneliness, they quickly trap someone else and get into an all new relationship. And so on… [ Read: 15 Sure-Shot Signs That He Likes You But Isn’t Into You! ]
- They are scared of facing the truth and any consequences
Because some incident took place in their past, they think it was their fault that such a thing happened. They blame themselves for it. Their mind is occupied with a lot of questions all the time. Example – what did I do wrong? What did this person leave me?
Now we will talk about what can be done to help such people and make them come out of the fear of abandonment so that it further does not affect their relationships –
- Getting help
By helping we mean that the person needs to start facing the world. You need to understand that the world is not as bad at you may think. Blaming yourself for whatever happened is not the right thing to do. [ Read: 11 Facts about Guys that can Help You Read his Mind ]
- Know the reason behind your fear
One way is to talk and discuss with yourself the reason of your fear. Be it related to some incident of our childhood or during our past relationships. We need to make ourselves understand the true reason behind it. Even if it was our fault, we need to forgive our self, correct the mistakes we had made and simply move on in life.
- Don’t be dependent on others for your happiness
Such people need to understand that they cannot be dependent on other people in the long run for being happy. They need to be happy on their own, happy about who they are, what they do and do they lead their life. Confidence on your own self is the key to ultimate happiness. [ Read: 11 Everyday Things to Keep Your Partner Happy]
Fear of abandonment leads you nowhere in live. First of all you need to believe in yourself. Is it not right to blame yourself for any accident that happened in your life? Even if it was your fault, you need to learn to forgive yourself. This is the only path towards happiness. Life is short; thinking about all such things will only help you to waste your precious time. Be productive, work hard, have goals in life, and live your life to the fullest leaving behind all your fears.
Being abandoned means that you are keeping the doors of your heart close so that you keep yourself safe from being heartbroken. But the fear of abandonment will not go away from your live until you open up to the world and let new friends, new love come in your life. [ Read: Do You Often Feel Stressed Out? This will Boost Your Happy Hormones ]
It is well understood that coping with the fear of abandonment is not simple but with help, affection, understanding what is right or wrong for your life with make you free from any kind of fear. If such issues are left unresolved it may make your life worse day after day and depression will take over your life.