5 Reasons Why Staying Friends with Your Ex Does not Work
Some couples, after breaking up with each other, promise to remain friends. There are different reasons for every couple promising the same. Some wish to remain friends as they want to stay in touch with people whom they were in love with. Some of them say this out of courtesy and do not intend to become ‘just friends’ with their erstwhile partners. A lot of people give it a try but most of them fail to remain friends with their ex for a long time. [ Read: Step by Step Guide to Get Your Ex To Love You Again ]
Here are 5 reasons why staying friends with your ex does not work:
- Causes pain
The relationship has come to an end but you are in touch with your ex. This means you get to know what is going on in your life without being involved in it as much. As their partner, you had the right to share your opinion and offer advice on various matters but as a friend your access to their life is comparatively less. You also get to know when they start dating someone and all you can do is congratulate them half heatedly and watch them going around with another person. It is not that you do not want them to move on in life but to see another person acquiring the space that you had in their life is bound to be painful. [ Read: Why Your Ex Still Crosses Your Mind From Time to Time ]
- Things did not work
Although you do not wish to date each other anymore and wish to remain just friends, the fact is that you both were together earlier and things did not work out. Even if you plan on being friends, you are bound to spend some time with each other and it may not come out well. The dynamics of the relationship may be different but you have to understand that both of you do not get along well and whether you are in a relationship or friendly with each other, things will not work.
- Romance never dies
Being friends with after being in a romantic relationship with them is difficult. When you were in a relationship, you shared many intimate moments together and you are definitely going to stay away from doing any such thing as a friend. It would be very difficult for two people to remain friends when they have already been in a far more intense bond. It would be difficult to let go of the feelings that you had for your partner especially now when you are still in touch with them. It could be tough to keep the ‘romance’ factor aside and become friends. Equations do not change overnight. Even if you promise not to cross the boundary of friendship, feelings would kick in eventually. [ Read: Holding Back Your Feelings When Meeting Your Exes ]
You could try your best to stay friends with your ex without bringing along any baggage of the relationship you had with them in the past but what how will you erase the memories? The beautiful moments that you both shared in the past shall remain etched in your memory and it will be difficult to shoo them away. The memories which meant the world to you are the ones you want to get rid of now. Unfortunately, that is not going to happen and the sooner you realize this, the better. It is practically impossible to forget your past. You might try to convince yourself that you will not let the ghost of your past haunt you but you cannot hide from the truth. The relationship may have come to an end but it was a part of your life and you cannot help but remember it as the same.
- You are still in love
The fact that the relationship has ended does not mean you have stopped loving your ex. The relationship may not work for several reasons. Sometimes, while you try your best to save it, is your partner decides to call it off. Things go beyond your control and you watch your relationship wither away helplessly. Even if you are the one who decides to end things for some reason, you find it difficult to let go of the feelings that you have for them. Being friends with your ex will not change those feelings. It will only intensify them. If you stay in touch with them, you will try to find ways to them back in your life or rekindle the relationship even there is no hope left. You will pretend to be friends with them while still hoping that you would start seeing each other gain. [ Read: 12 Foolproof Ways To Stop Thinking About Your EX And Start A New Life! ]
Being friends with your ex is easier said than done. You have to understand that you have been in a relationship with someone for some time and trying to become friends with them after a breakup is not going to be easy. As much as you wish well for your ex, it would hurt to see them dating someone else while you assume the position of a friend in their life. Things get unnecessarily complicated when you try to become friends with your ex.